My husband and I recently celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary. I am so thankful that I have spent the last ten years married to the best man, best father, and best husband. But, after ten years, I have learned that marriage takes work. If you want to keep the spark alive ten years in, there are some things you have to do.
1. Schedule Regular Date Nights
Date nights are an absolute must – especially a decade later! You need a night away from the kids to remember the two of you as a couple. Date nights give you an opportunity to dress up, flirt, and enjoy each other’s company. Go ahead and schedule a monthly babysitter – it is worth it!
2. Do Things You Love Together
This many years later, I am so glad my husband and I have common interests. If you can find something you love to do together, it can make a huge difference. We love eating and traveling, so we try to do these things together as often as possible.
3. Keep Communicating
It’s easy to stop communicating as often when you think you already know everything there is to know about your spouse. Believe it or not, my husband still tells me stories I haven’t heard before. Keep talking to one another. Text each other throughout the day and indulge in some pillow talk each night before bed.
4. Give Gifts
I love it when my hubs surprises me with a special gift – it never gets old! To this day, if I see something I think he’d like, I either go ahead and buy it for him or add it to the wishlist for a future holiday gift. This reminds your spouse you know what he loves and that you think about him even when you are apart.
5. Make an Effort
Let’s be honest for a second. It is really easy to let yourself go a little when you are comfortable. While it is great to be comfortable enough with each other to no longer feel the need to get all dolled up, you should still try to make an effort to look nice for your spouse (especially on date night). Go ahead and wear that outfit he loves you in!
6. Try Something New Together
If things are starting to feel predictable after ten years, that is normal. But, it is also a sign that you guys need to freshen things up a bit. Find something new to try together (and we don’t just mean in the bedroom). Find a new hobby the two of you can enjoy together.
7. Say Thank You Often
After ten years, you may find that you take each other for granted. Instead, make an extra effort to continue thanking your spouse for the things he does. Gratitude goes a long way in keeping marriages healthy and happy.
8. Spend Time with People Who Value Marriage
Spend time with people who value marriage rather than people who spend all their time complaining about their husbands or marriage in general. Those who value marriage will encourage you to work things out when you inevitably have a fight, and they will be the ones most willing to babysit for a much-needed date night.
9. Reflect on Your Years Together
Ten years of marriage is a big deal! You have 10+ years of memories to reflect on. Take time to share favorite memories and talk about the difficult seasons you overcame with each other’s help. And, make plans and dream about the next ten years!
10. Don’t Stop Touching
Finally, don’t stop touching. For some reason, when couples have been together for a while, they stop holding hands, cuddling, and kissing as often. Don’t let this happen to you. The next time you are out, grab his hand! Tonight when you binge-watch tv, sit close and cuddle. Tomorrow when you get home from work, give him a smooch.